I haven’t sat down and typed things out for a bit, so here goes. I don’t often keep many of my musings for posterity’s sake, but it is good to get the thoughts and ideas and feeling out on “paper”. To that end, here goes! We have begun a new chapter in our lives again…or rather, we have restarted an old one.  Javin is doing the whole homeschooling thing again.  The stress and anxiety has gotten too great from attending public school.  

I was tired of him being physically ill at the thought of going there. He was throwing up nearly every Monday for the last two months and almost as many Tuesdays. So, here we are again! I am hoping it goes better than year two, and more like year one!  I am not trying to do school with him and take care of my adorable nephews this year, which makes me hopeful that things will run more smoothly.  We are more than week in now and it has gone great.  We have done math and English, PE, cooking, and photography with out much complaint. (He still goes into the school for science.  He has a great teacher that he has a great rapport with, why ruin the one bright aspect?) 

I want to be more of an outside of the box teacher/parent. I want him to learn things they don’t teach at regular schools.  We started learning together how to do family history research.  There is a family history center in our church building and people who are there to help.  I hope we both get something out of it.  To me, this is a fabulous use of his/our time.  If you think about it, he is learning computer skill, typing skill, and how to research things.  It is like a three in one class!

I have found, however, that my seventh grade math skill are beyond abysmal, and I have to retake the exercises that the Khan academy provides. I have never been stellar at math, but I am surprised at just how much I have forgotten because I just don’t use a lot of it in my daily life.  In a way, I guess, I am going back to school as well.  I don’t mind that part.  I don’t mind extra time with my boy either.  I do miss the freedom to hike every day and attend the temple more regularly.  But when we sacrifice our time for the betterment of our children, we are doing what is best, not good or better, but what is best, right?  

I am hoping to help him be a well rounded, fully functioning member of society.  I am not sure that is what the school district was doing for him.  They (as a collective but most assuredly not every individual) seem to worry so much about test scores and getting class averages up, that they let those that aren’t up to scratch, or those that are above the mark, go by the way side.  They appear to spend more time working with the happy medium.  Get the majority of the kids in the happy medium and poof, more state and federal funding in their budget.  I think, all too often kids have been reduced to a dollar sign and a test score.  That doesn’t sit well with me at all.  In fact, I find it rather irksome!  No two people are the same and I dare say, no two people learn the same way; yet they want to take a group of 20-30 kids and squish them into one learning bubble!  Argh and ugh.  That pretty much sums up why we have gone to homeschooling, academically anyway. 

Now on to the bigger and weightier issue, that of bullying.  This is an problem so many kids face, and the main reason for the puking and anxiety that has hit my son so hard this year.  He has been trying so hard to do the right thing, to keep his temper in check and to not get into fights.  He has been trying to keep himself to himself.  For the most part he succeeds.  There appear to be other kids that cannot seem to do the same thing.  No amount of anti-bullying slogans plastered to the school ways will stop a real bully from bullying.  Discipline, and really getting into trouble might help some, but the kids are afraid to name the bully, afraid of retaliation and humiliation. I get it, I really do.  Kids can be horribly mean, but guess what, it is a learned behavior.  Guess where so many fo them are learning in it? If you guess at home, I do believe your are 100% correct.  Just take a gander at Facebook, Instagram, twitter, Snapchat and all the other social media outlets.  People sling mud, find fault, and name call all the time.  If you don’t see the world like “me” then you are a so-and-so!  Kindness is always the way to go, really it is!! Yet we so often just let it go by the wayside, because we think we are right or maybe we had a bad day and just want to pass on the negativity.  Here is a little news flash: You can disagree with someone without tearing them down.  You don’t have to force your view on them, and you sure as hillbillies, don’t have to slander them or belittle them.  Why is it that so many times and in so many places “grown ups” are being the perfect example of bullying, instead of being the example our children need?  Why?.

Bullying is not one person being punched or kicked by another, that is, in fact physical assault. Bullying is much more insidious than physical violence.  Bullying is intentionally looking for and finding a chink in someone’s self esteem and pulling on it until it is a gaping wound in their self worth.  Bullying is TRYING to make them hurt from unseen wounds, it is bruising their spirit and battering their heart and soul.  Bullies attempt to make their victims feel tiny, insignificant, and unimportant. They do far more damage than a kick or a punch.  They are attempting to murder the self worth of another living soul.  I am not sure that the bully is always self-aware of the reason, but it is the end result of persistent bullying of individuals.  And in very real ways the bullies are the unseen hand in many physical deaths.  Those who are relentlessly bullied often feel they have no way out of the pain and suffering they are going through and see death as the only escape.  Our life here on this beautiful planet is short, and yes we are all learning as we go.  Why don’t we all find a way to he a helping hand to those around us?  Why don’t we look for and point out the good we see in others?  Why don’t we all be the kindness that we proclaim to want?