The Tale of the "Tired-Not-Sleepy" Girl

Here I sit, tired, yet not sleepy, I was pouring over the watch instantly tab on Netflix and not finding anything to watch...then I went off to IMDb to play the click on the movie, find an actor/actress and thread my why along (see what they were in, click on a movie under their list...pick a different actor/tress...shampoo. rinse. repeat like) till I am so far off the topic I can't remember where I began.
This might sound REALLY lame and all, but this type of time filling activity is NOT an unusual thing for me. I know, what a life I lead! I don't sleep well, and there are times when I don't sleep at all for days, sometimes even weeks...right now it is one of my I sleep an hour or so a night for a few weeks in a row cycle and it is less than fun.
I find things to occupy my time. There is my frien-enemies, Netflix (always tempting me with the watch instantly tab...drawing me in and making me search for hours for the right title or the right actors in the film); Hulu with all those shows I ignore on regular TV but get pulled back into watching, cause, hey, there are only REALLY short ads that intrupt the show; and of course there is IMDb. I love this site. Yes I am a movie lover...or addict or whatever. I have seen more movies than I can count...trust me I have tried to list them all before, and after I get to three or four hundred titles listed I get bored! I can give a rough estimate of the number of movies/TV show I have see...I have rated over 2800 title on netflix...and I am always coming across more that I have seen.
Wow, this makes me really sound like a LOSER who REALLY likes to waste time infront of the tube. But, when sleep is NOT on speaking terms with you, there are a few things to choose from. You can read a book, watch a movie, or stare at the walls and ceiling...I choose movies and books (I have an impressive book collection too...and the number of books I have read is nearly as high as the movie count!). Ok, there is often a bit of ceiling watching that happens too, but that is after I have watched the movie, or read the book and THINK I can finally sleep, only to discover that I am once again staring at my lod friend mister ceiling!
Ok, where was I going with this? I hardly remember...it must be the tired part of this tired-but-not-sleepy girl mind. I have found, after two weeks of little or no sleep a night my brain is as dull as the unsharpened pencils that sit in the drawer by my kitchen sink. Oh...my favorite game, that is what this started out as...well, it's not really a GAME...just something I do for fun when I don't have a good book to read and can't find a title that strikes my fancy! I start out with a favorite movie or actor in the search field on IMDb and when the page comes up, I scan for a movie or actor I don't recognize, click on it find something interesting on that page, click and repeat...kind of like the shampoo bottles tell you to do, and kind of like the blonde joke about how to keep a blonde occupied. Only, sometimes I find out interesting stuff. Not important stuff, just useless pointless information about this movie or that actress or this sound track or that film location. Today I started with Val Kilmer...one of my ALL time FAVORITE actors...did you know for years he was the YOUNGEST person accepted into Juilliard's?...and ended up here writing a blog about my insomnia! That was of course after 20 or so movie title and at least as many actors, and a jump to facebook to see who has what to say about their day, then a jump back to netflix. I am telling you, if a person were so inclined to search my computers history and "cookies" all they would find is HULU, NETFLIX, FACEBOOK, IMDb, a few blogs and the WEATHERunderGROUND. I know, my internet searching habits are so random and unpredictable...what can I say...I guess I am just that awesome!
I don't have a genre that I watch the most, I watch whatever strikes my fancy, which is a different fancy all the time. I have found some AWESOMELY funny, QuIrKy, silly, strange, and cHeEsY...movies since I started getting netflix. One of my most recent finds was ASSASSIN in LOVE. Hilarious I tell you! Oh, and Randy and the Mob...there is even a movie out there called....wait for it(now this might only be awesome to those of you who actually know me in the real world)...I am the Cheese and of course Megan and I found Dragonslayer all thanks to first, my not sleeping and second to Netflix and their HUGE coffers full of movies of all classes and ages! And all the old movies and B films...oh I am a movie DoRk! I sometimes watch movies that other people have criticized, if someone says a movie is over the top cheesy, well you can almost bet I will give it a go (sometimes they really are that cheese filled, others just the right amount of cheese for me).
So, I think I have turned Javin into a MOVIE buff. He definitely has favorites that are his go-to but he loves finding new favorites. We can both get sucked into the movie section of the store for hours if you let us...sure we aren't always on the same page when it comes to movies, but hey, he is only 5! He was trying to convince me this evening (ok this later than evening, way past bed time night) that he wasn't tired and he should definitely watch a movie with me. I wasn't fooled...I may be a bit dull witted from lack of sleep, but even I can tell when he is full of bologna...three fits within a 10 minute period could convince anyone that tired was what he WAS...not wasn't! I did promise him a movie in the morning....so if I was the sleeping type that is what I would go do, to make sure he got to watch his movie with a non-muzzy headed mum!
Orissa hasn't succumbed to the movie madness. Which is good, not sure a whole house full would be such a good thing...hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!
Maybe next time I dither on about something with this sleep deprived mind that I must confess is all mine, it will be of more important things, like my StarWars book collection (hey, no judging, I read them not just collect them...and I have NEVER dressed up as ANY character from the books or movies) and all the other books that fill my home. But not today! I think my nattering is over for the time being (don't celebrate too loudly, the people around you might just think you have gone a bit looney)!
As a prize for all you who stuck it out, made it through the mazes of my murky mind I give you pictures...not much of a prize if you don't think my kids and my cooking are the greatest thing since ice cream...but hey, it's what I got!
I had to try my hand at strawberry rhubarb pie...I loves to eats it, so why not bake one all by myself? Ok, not all by myself I had this guy as a helper bee!
She is always mothering her "baby". I guess the kitchen cabinet makes a GREAT crib!
No judgement till you try 'em..these are some of the best brussel sprouts I have ever had!
I know, they are completely unrelated to the entire post. But they are not unrelated to the things I love the mostest...my family, food, photography and movies...see they fit in there! Or not, but I just felt like a blog post with out pictures is like an omelet without cheese. Sure you can do it that way, but isn't it so much better with the cheese?

Blog bLoG blog BLOG!

Someone has been guilty of dereliction of duty. Someone has fallen asleep at the wheel! This is a disgrace! I mean really, how many days? weeks? months? have gone by since someone updated this blog anyway? I will just have to have a firm talk with the guilty party and make them pay! I will make them pay for this abandonment of post! Wait, uh, oh yeah, um, silly grill, that would be me eh?
We are still alive and kickin'. I am still taking lots of pictures (and cooking...kind of combining two loves...food and photography),
and working hard to get my name out there in the Spokane Photography community...slow going really! Still attending to the kids as a 3/4 time single parent...and always wishing for MORE chocolaty goodness: recipes candies, and well, just chocolate, grood chocolate, to feed the hungry beast...aka my chubby belly ( which reminds me: a sad thing happened this week...I finished my Butlers Chocolate...as in, it is all gone, no more and there are lots of tears!)! I haven't even started making any holiday candy...I guess that is another duty I have neglected to preform...I, uh, I will have to make amends on that front also!
Javin is still full of life, energy, smiles and is VERY excited about the coming of Christmas. He says he wants to be a sharp tooth for Christmas...and every time we inform him that people DO NOT dress up for Christmas, he says, "I do Momma! I like to be a sharp tooth for Christmas!" He has, in recent months decided to become a soup chef and my little model. He is getting pretty daring with the spices and ingredients...never the same combination twice. And when we are out running errands, he will scout and shout new locations where he thinks he should be shot!


Orissa is still full of way too much attitude and is still as stinkin' cute as can be. Well, not at this very moment...right now she is sick with some sort of stomach bug and is making her displeasure for the whole thing VERY clear to anyone and everyone around (which is only Javin and I...but still)!! When she isn't sick and whiny, she has become very attached to any baby doll she can get her hands on. Orissa LOVES the kid kitchen at Nana and Papa's house and the doll house that Maama and Pumpa recently acquired!


Aaron is still on his grand adventure, hunting for a job in his field of expertise and working on the farm in the meantime. Out on the farm they are busying themselves with the grandiose task of turning the old barn into an office and/or apartment. I am pretty sure that a part of Aaron is glad for the manual labor...it had been several years since he has had to do "real" work! He is also still picking up a bit of freelance work here and there. We are ever hopeful that a job will make itself apparent soon! He has had a few bites from some companies around the country. Who knows, soon we could be traveling to a new home...ya never know!

Why Is It So Hard

I feel rushed, anxious, frustrated, worried, eager, and hopeful. My whole life has been turned upside down since my husband lost his job. I am at a loss for word on how it makes me feel inside to know we are in such a tight situation. I am, by nature a worrier who gets anxious pretty easily. I'm frustrated with the job market and with his former employer. I am eager for him to find new work....anywhere in this fine nation, and even hopeful that it will happen SOON. You can take all of those emotions and apply them to my desire for my portrait business to take off and be a bit of relief to our pocket book.
Not even sure I can write this post. It is not an easy thing for me to do. In the last four days I have really had to trim the fat. On Saturday we were headed out to Silverwood to watch my niece run in the annual cross country meet. We got in the car with our kids, our snacks and our cameras. The first stop was to be the Tire Store to pick up my parent who were headed that way with us ( they had to leave their car there to get the tires and oil changed). Aaron put the key in and turned it...nothing, nada, no clicking no engine roar COMPLETE silence. Instantly my eyes welled with tears. I mean come on, how many things have to go wrong before you just want to give up. I called mum, she said to call Clancy for a jump start. I tried his home phone...no answer then his cell...I had forgotten that he had a new number for his work. I tried to call Megan to see if they could help, but no answer on any of their phones either. Finally Clancy called back. He came and got it going! Oh the joy, with a bit of anxious mixed in...wasn't sure what was wrong or what caused the battery to be completely dead. It could have been a light left on, or the battery was just old, or the starter or the alternator. Too many options for a worst case scenario girl like me.
We mad it to the race with minutes to spare. We watched Maja run a great race! She was fourth on her team to cross the line, not sure what number in the over all race, but she did it in under 25 minutes! Then it was time to head back home to get Aaron and Dad back in time to go to the temple. We got back to the car to find that once again the battery was zapped, completely drained. Tears welled again as my brother-in-law came back to get it running again. We had planned a stop at Cabelas so my Da could check it out (he had never been to one and REALLY wanted to go), but that was scrubbed from our agenda. Megan and Shawn graciously offered to take him there instead. I was just too afraid to turn the car off again. So, with the car running for the time being, we we hit the road. We then got stuck ( like it was backed up for a couple of miles...yay road construction) in traffic near an on ramp...we had to take it the wrong way cause we had a little guy who HAD to go potty. Luckily, there were no cops to ticket us! We then drove around Postfalls looking for an alternative route home...so we didn't have to just get right back in the jam. We eventually found our bearings and took the back way home. Our time was getting away from us, so we had to take Aaron home, let him change his clothes ( and of course leave the car running)and head out to the temple to meet up with Da with EVERYONE still in the car. Aaron would have just scrapped the temple trip, but that would have meant Da was alone there.
We met Da at the temple ( after a wait fifteen minute wait with the car not so slowly eating away at the feul) and then headed to the Tire Store to have the battery in the car checked out. Let me just tell you how fun that part of the trip was...we again were caught in traffic (this time we were TOO close to the fairgrounds on the first Saturday of the county fair...woot woot). After being STUCK in the slow lane for over a half hour we made it to our destination! When we arrived, we got the kids out of the car left it running and went to talk to Kurt, the manager and Clancy's friend. He sort of chuckled when I told him the car was still running, upon his request for the keys.
After a half hour of running, screaming, and water spilling fun, he informed us that the battery COMPLETELY failed the test and needed to be replaced. Ugh. $150 that I didn't have was the price tag, which Mum so graciously covered for us. I can't take others money without feeling horrid and in debit to them, so I decided to make a trade, my iPod touch for the new battery. It wasn't brand spankin' new or anything...over a year old, but I knew my Da really wanted one. This made it so I felt better about that transaction then just letting them cover it. Now I am back to a life sans iPod.
Then today, I have been doing all I can to eliminate or reduce every expenditure we have. That unfortunately, meant we needed to cut the cell phones from two to one. Aaron needs his for his job hunt and any freelance work he can find....so now my life is down one more piece of technology. And like the bawl-baby that I seem to be lately, I did shed NOT A FEW tears over this loss. I am feeling a bit technology anemic at the moment, and there are times of tears especially when I can't just pick up the cell and call anyone I want,PLUS no angry birds to play...sad day...but on the funny side of this, my Mum and Da are both now hooked on it!
I also got rid of my Netflix account. Talk about a tragic day in my life. I know, trivial things in the long run, but here I am whining and over bummed about it.
I am not just trying rid the gushing out flow of money, but trying to promote my business and help take care of my family. I have no real idea how to get the clients to come, but I am trying. I feel I have a lot to offer them, yet, I am not a very gregarious person until you get to know me a bit...then I am a bit zany, crazy and in my own mind, very funny! I have a unique voice in the world of portrait photography and I want to SING it out from the roof tops, and share it with everyone! If you live anywhere near Spokane and want to have your portrait taken in the oft over looked wonders of Spokane....here I am, PICK me!!!
I will leave you now with just one picture of the cutest boy in all the world...nope, I'm not impartial I'm his mother....but come on, you know he is stinkin' cute too!




my post script: Please don't take this post as anything but my failings. I love my husband, He is a rock and a pillar to me. His faith is astounding. I know he is doing all he can to find a way to take care of his family and he is putting his trust in the Lord. I am one of those people who has a VERY hard time accepting help. I feel weak if I can't accomplish it all on my own. I know in my heart that I should be more willing to look to the Lord and those around me for the help I need. I AM working on this and...maybe that is a lesson I am to take from this trial.

My Sister and My Niece

My sister just opened her very own etsy store and she so graciously let me do the product shots for it. We had a blast taking the beauty shots for them...and my sweetie did the lighting for me. My niece, Maja was kind enough to be a second model for me...and I LOVED shooting her, photographically speaking(hehehehe). We first did the head shots, and then I convinced her mum to let me take her out and about and capture some more images at a location I have been dying to try out. I think the results were pretty fabulous...but hey what can I say I am a GrEaT self backslapper! I just love being behind the camera and finding beauty in places that to others appear strange, ugly or ordinary. I love putting the beautiful...aka Megan and Maja in areas that seem grungy or unusual.
I guess you will just have to let me know what you think!




For now I think I might have found my awesome (or at least what can possibly be my awesome). I know it is going to take a lot of work and practice...but work and practice with the camera is like play time in the rocks and dirt and mud for me...that only makes sense if you know that I have always wanted to be a geologist...except for the math part of the science of dirt!!
Ya'll have a great night!

I Hope This Isn't a Pass/Fail Thing!

If keeping up with this blogging business were a straight pass/fail sort of thing, I am SURE I would be failing. I get so involved and wrapped up in my day to days that I forget about sharing the tidbits with you out there in cyber land. And lately our tidbits have been a bit hard to digest, thus making it hard for me to want to share.
August was a roller coaster ride of events. I would say the highest point, was definitely family caused. We had a great vacation with family. Travelled in style...or at least comfort (riding in the motor home with my parent) as we travelled from home, to Moses Lake, to Clarkston, to Yellowstone and back home again (with LoTs of detours on the way). There were some great moments visiting with the half of the family that could make it.
And then came other part of the roller coaster, a much lower point of the thrill ride. August, middle August to be specific, was to be review time at Aaron's job. You know, that time of year you look forward to, the time where the boss man looks at all the amazing work that Aaron had done, takes into account all the happy clients from all that amazing work, and then doles out the raises and bonuses. I was REALLY looking forward to this time of year. Thinking of all the bills I could get a handle on and such. And then, one fine Monday after evening noon, he was late getting off work. No big deal, that happens a lot at this job...a project needs a bit of extra time, a client wants a last minute change, so on and so forth. So I am playfully sending him silly messages in the chat window, trying to get an idea of when I should start dinner. I would have just picked up the phone to call, oh yeah, that's right, I did..and it rang...right next to me...but I digress...Over an hour, very close to an hour and a half after he normally comes home,
Aaron opens the door looking very tired, pushes his bike through the door, because like a good man he was being all energy efficient and only using man power to get him to and from work) and says to me, "I need to find a new job."
I said, "oh, tired of having to work all these extra hours for basically nothing (the curse of the salary jobs)?"
He says, "No, I REALLY NEED to find a new job."
Being the somewhat slow person that I can, on rare occasions be, it took a couple of minutes for that to sink in and make anything that resembled any sort of sense. Then the tears came. My husband was fired from a job. This didn't happen because he did shoddy work or was late all the time or anything that seemed ballpark to a good reason to fire someone, no, he was fired because, and I quote, "We just don't feel like you are a good fit for the company."
After two years of wonderful service to them, many a late work nights, and more than a handful of compliments from the clients (some I might add from clients that never had dished any before) he was let go because he wasn't a good fit? Really?
I was, am, having a hard time coping with this change. Being a stay at home mum who is in charge of making sure the check book is balanced and the bills are all paid, it has been somewhat more than a little stressful. I have poured my heart out in prayer to the Lord for support and strength, and I know he hears my prayers. And I know it will all work out in His time. but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit nervous.
So, for all you out there who are patient enough to come and check out my blog even when it has been so very post anemic and possibly anorexic, that is the reason and I am grateful that you still come.
Maybe I should move on to other things, what do ya say? Are you with me?
For quite a space of time I have been been working on with renewed intent and zeal, is my photography business. I love taking pictures. And desire to share that (what I hope others see as a talent).
I am NOT a sales person (no joke, I tried to sell Mark...you know, that branch of Avon that is suppose to be for a younger more hip crowd...and basically just bought makeup from myself) and so the whole marketing jive is so NOT my forte. I have no idea how to get people to see my work. Sure I have a website and a facebook page, even ordered business cards. But I really yearn for (I know this post is a bit of a pity party) people to want me to take their pictures for them.
I have been blessed with family members who have asked me or I asked them to let me take their portraits...and they did!







And it has been wonderful. I think they turned out smashingly well. And I have so much fun doing it. Kiamay even let me do a mini shoot after her Senior Recital...in which she played beautifully.

I will have to figure it out I guess!
So, that is that!! And I probably could have summarized it all for you like this: rant, rant, rave and rant, stomp, stomp, whine, shake fist powerfully in the air, complain, complain...but I am far too wordy to have left it at that!

A Quarter Earned, Awesomeness Purchased

So, what can you get for a quarter these days? That is the ultimate question in my little mans mind at present. Currently, we are trying to teach Javin the value of money and how to earn it, so on and so forth. What better way than to give him small chores that earn him anywhere from a quarter to a dollar each time he does them. I am not sure he is totally getting the lesson, but we press onward!
As soon as the money hits his hot little hands, his mind starts racing and he just has to hit Fred Meyer and spend his hard earned cash....Now let us go back to that question: WHAT can you get for a quarter! So many things temp in those vending machines, always begging him to spend his quarters, but this fine day, before he was even out the door he knew just exactly what his precious quarter was going to afford him...manliness in it's ultimate form!



What could be more wicked bad awesome than a MuStAcHe, I ask you? And you know I'm right...not a darn thing!

Eggs! Any one for Eggs? No they aren't green!

It has been way too long since the blog has been updated and my only excuse is that I am a bit on the "I've had enough of things going wrong, and don't feel like complaining to everyone one so how do I post happy funny things in this funk, kind of mood".
So, I will leave that as the big complaint and move on! Today I was trying to multitask...get Aaron's Aunt's photo order in order and take care of the kids...two tasks that is all, and I failed. Javin came out of the kitchen saying (over and over in a most annoying way), "Mommy, sissy in the eggs, sissy in the eggs, sissy in the eggs Mommy!"
I go into the kitchen and find this:



She sure was in the eggs! And if you read this blog ever, you know that the picture takes precedence over the mess being cleaned up! We all had a good little chuckle, took the pictures (Javin ran out to the living room got his camera and documented the mess as well) and then I got to clean it up...lucky me...right?